`Sugar Coated Delusions`

December 4, 2007

Filed under: Main — melfabro @ 4:03 am

I always asked myself what’s holding me back?
I tend to know the answers to all my questions but
I always refused to accept and listen
I’m just afraid that my wholeness wouldn’t be enough for someone
I’m afraid of having and loosing in the end
I’m afraid of falling, caring, thinkin, smiling for someone…
I’m afraid of sharing my dreams with someone that might not appreciate it back
I’m afraid of drowning myself to tears…
I’m afraid of having myself convincing that everything was just a dream…
it didn’t happened, it never existed… no tears, no sorrow, no nostalgia to hold on to

I know what i see now is similar to an old picture…
a picture I painted through my mind and soul… hear in my heart
a beauty that I always admired, cherished and caressed… even if it is framed by someone else
Would I be contented with just gazing? Will I do the same thing I have done a thousand times before? Will I do nothing again?
The nothingness that makes me safe… the nothingness that keeps me sane
The nothingness that could be filled up now…

I just hope this rain will bring me a better rainbow… after I get soaked up


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