`Sugar Coated Delusions`

November 29, 2007

nice

Filed under: Main — Tags: — melfabro @ 3:53 am

Saw this in pinoyexchange, the title i have totally forgotten =D

“I think the main reason for why it has taken me so long to write this e-mail is not to hang you out to dry and leave you hanging in suspense but how and where I even try to begin.

I suppose I have no alternative but not to beat about the bush and just come out with it right from the off. Yes I am married!

It is not at this point where whatever I write I don’t expect you to read as I am pretty damn sure this e-mail will now have been deleted, my name cursed a million times, your friends boasting they told ya so and you feeling let down and humiliated in the worse possible way.

If by some miracle you are still continuing to read on which I sincerely hope you are I can guarantee you hand on heart that everything else I have told you is 100% true and no other lies have been told and apart from this. I have always been honest and upfront with you and as I now have nothing to lose by hanging myself out to dry like this I hope you do believe me in what else I have to say as what other reason could I possibly have for wanting to lie.

I have decided to come clean and tell you the truth for one reason only and that is because of my love for you. It has been hurting me for months keeping this secret from you and it has got to the point where my love for you is so great that I would rather lose you and you end up hating me than for me to have to continue to lie to you.

Ok so now I need to explain why I even entertained it in the first place and why is a married guy even getting involved with another woman. Well when you first messaged me on yahoo completely out of the blue I had no idea who you were and how you had my details. After the first time we chatted and spoke
I honestly wholeheartedly never expected to hear from you again and certainly did not ever in the slightest expect to fall so deeply in love with someone and them reciprocate those exact same feelings back towards me.

I was also at the time happily married and was someone who never believed it was ever possible to fall in love with more than one person. Hey guess what goes to show just how little I f**king know about anything.

Well I suppose the rest is common knowledge, the more we spoke the closer we got the more we shared intimate feelings with each other and the more I fell in love with you. I have even tried to force myself in giving you up which was why I disappeared for those 3 weeks and hey guess what I could not do it.
All I now know is that I love you so much and want to be with you yet I find myself confused as hell as I have a lovely wife that I share my life with yet there is this person I have never met, yet have unbelievable feelings for as strong if not stronger than the person I am with, which leaves me questioning just how magnificent could it be.

I hate myself because I know this is going to upset you and I know you are going to hate me and I know you will not forgive for this and I know I have f**ked you about and messed things up for you as well and you know what I can’t blame or begrudge you in anyway feeling like this.

I must have read this e-mail over 100 times, I keep trying to word it differently but no matter how much I play with words it all boils down to one thing and that is I lied and f**ked this up completely on my own and is all my doing. Had I not lied from the start we would not have got to this stage now but in a perverse way I am glad I lied because even knowing this is the end I would never have had the opportunity to experience what I have with you and therefore will always treasure what we did have and will never forget it either.

I will still send you your birthday card and a little something from me, what you do with it is your business.

I guess now all I can do is sit down completely tied in knots hoping wondering wanting to hear from you but I am sure if I do it will be to a barrage of abuse. I have deleted you from my contacts on msn and yahoo and I have deleted all the pictures you sent me. You will not hear from me again unless you contact me which I so dearly would love you to but I am a realist and know that is very unlikely.

I am sorry for embarrassing you in front of your friends but ***** was WRONG
I was not after you for your body I was after you for you and your inner beauty.

Wow so I have finally done it, I am nervous as hell and have been sitting here s**tting myself clicking the send button. Yeap I even thought about deleting all the above and continuing lying to you but I just can’t do it, you deserve so much more than that and this is why I am coming clean purely and only because I do love you and you do mean the world to me. If you did not I would continue to lie that would be to easy to do.

Love you with all heart for whatever that is now worth.

The biggest s**t head in the world

ME !”

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