`Sugar Coated Delusions`

June 8, 2007

Chismax!

Filed under: Main — melfabro @ 8:34 am

Got this mail from a friend, thought i share this to all of you.  ^_^

*Untold Pinoy Story No. 1*

Beyond Sibling Rivalry

If your siblings are married to huge celebrities and you’ve just lost your
chance of marrying one, would you still strive to surpass their feat? But
how could you beat being married to an award-winning actress whose mother
is a beautiful actress and whose father is the original Agent X-44 of
Philipine movies?

Or being the wife of Mr. Pure Energy?

Or being Mr. Megastar?

Now, aren’t you glad that you’re not among the Pangilinan siblings?

Former Penthouse Live co-host and newspaper columnist Anthony Pangilinan
married Maricel Laxa, an excellent actress who is the
lovechild of circa 60s actress Imelda Ilanan and action star Tony
Ferrer. She is also the half-sister of 1990 Miss Asia runner-up Mutya
Crisostomo Laxa.

Anthony’s brother, Senator Francis Pangilinan, was a campus figure in UP
Diliman. He was the chairman of the UP Student Council in 1986. He married
no less than the megastar, Sharon Cuneta.

Their sister, Angeli Pangilinan, was a campus beauty and brain while she
was a student at the UP School of Economics in Diliman. Angeli married Mr.
Pure Energy himself, Gary Valenciano.

REWIND: In the early 80s, teenager Edgardo Jose  Maria Santiago Valenciano
or Gary V. to most of us, fell deeply in love with a teenage girl who
eventually became his girlfriend. Gary’s true love, they said. And they
really looked perfect together. Their friends said that they were truly
meant for each other. They were the picture of pure bliss. But not for
long.

Few weeks before Gary’s first major concert in 1984, a female singer became
pregnant. And Gary was the alleged father. Gary did not deny it. At 19,
Gary joined the growing list of unwed teenage fathers.

Gary’s former girlfriend was shocked upon hearing about Gary’s
indiscretion. She felt betrayed by Gary and the female singer. Gary’s
former girlfriend was devastated.

The pregnant singer who bore Gary’s child was a former Camay girl who
joined the ultra exclusive league of several generations of Camay beauties
from the first Camay girl Paquita Roces to her two daughters, Maritess
Revilla (Ang lahat ay napapalingon, at muling
napapalingon) and Rosie Revilla to actress Rosa Rosal’s daughter Toni Rose
Gayda (Kutis porcelana) to concert pianist Ingrid Sala Santamaria’s
daughter Crispy Santamaria to a few others. The female singer indeed looked
devastatingly beautiful in her memorable Camay TV commercial. But there was
a teeny weeny objection among his friends: She was too old for the teenage
and vibrant Gary whose popularity was just beginning to zoom up.

Everybody knows that the female singer who became pregnant with Gary’s
child was Maria Anna Elizabeth Nepomuceno Pangilinan. In 1985, Gary
exchanged vows with the female singer who is more popularly known by her
nickname: Angeli. Angeli retired from her singing group, Music and Magic.
Angeli
sacrificed her flourishing singing career and left behind her fellow
Music and Magic members led by jeepney driver’s daughter-turned-nurse-
turned-singer Kuh Ledesma, tenor singer-turned-Music and Magic
co-founder-turned-musical director Jet Montelibano and
singer-turned-comedian-turned TNT-turned- bogus political asylum
seeker-turned-Michael Garfinkel
endorser Fe de los Reyes.

Angeli decided to become a full-time wife to Gary, baby Paolo’s Mom and
Gary’s talent manager.

Meanwhile, the pain of losing Gary has left Gary’s former girlfriend
in deep shock. Gary and his new bride tried to comfort her but Gary’s
former girlfriend was inconsolable.

PLAY: Gary Valenciano’s most inspired and most popular composition was
first heard as the theme song of a Vilma Santos movie before it became the
title of an Aga Muhlach-Lea Salonga flick and later, the title of a Kim
Chiu-Gerald Anderson TV soap opera. The haunting melody and melancholy
lyrics of this beautiful song make one wonder where Gary drew the passion
and longing for lost love which every line of this song clearly evokes.

Listen:

Sana maulit muli

Ang mga oras nating nakaraan

Bakit nagkaganito

Naglaho na ba ang pag-ibig mo?

Sana’y maulit muli

Sana bigyan pansin ang himig ko

Kahapon, bukas, ngayon

Tanging wala ng ibang mahal

Kung kaya kong iwanan ka

‘Di na sana aasa pa

Kung kaya kong umiwas na

‘Di na sana lalapit pa

Kung kaya ko sana

Ibalik ang kahapon

Sandaling ‘di mapapantayan

Huwag sana nating itapon

Pagmamahal na tapat

Kung ako’y nagkamali minsan

‘Di na ba mapagbibigyan

O giliw, dinggin mo ang nais ko, oooh…

Kung kaya kong iwanan ka

‘Di na sana aasa pa

Kung kaya kong umiwas na

‘Di na sana lalapit pa

Kung kaya ko sana

Ito ang tanging nais ko

Ang ating kahapon sana maulit muli

Kung kaya kong iwanan ka

‘Di na sana aasa pa

Mahal pa rin kita

O giliw, o giliw ko, oooh…

This song was originally written by Gary in English. Ironically, the
one who translated it to Tagalog was Gary’s wife, Angeli.

FAST FORWARD: Now, Gary has three grown-up children with Angeli. On the
other hand, Gary’s former girlfriend is now known as Mrs. Buizon. She
occasionally hosts a show on TV.

The pain has eased. Somehow. Even if the former lovers get to see each
other regularly. They meet at her Mom’s house during important occasions:

Christmas. New Year. Birthday of Mrs. Buizon’s mother. Mrs. Buizon’s
birthday. Gary’s birthday. Holidays. Easter Sunday. Every Sunday, in fact
Gary’s equally famous in-laws were witnesses to the former lovers’
meetings. But they do not mind at all.

Gary’s wife, Angeli, does not make a fuss over it.

Even the family matriarch, retired public school teacher Mommy Emma, is not
bothered by it.

But the truth is, they could not prevent the former lovers from
seeing each other.

Because Gary’s former girlfriend has to join her mother, siblings and
in-laws during important family occasions.

And because Gary’s former girlfriend was Felichi Buizon.

And because before she got married, Gary’s former girlfriend was
known as Felichi Pangilinan.

And yes, because Felichi Pangilinan-Buizon is the younger sister of Angeli
Pangilinan-Valenciano.

And none of us would probably ever know the rest of this intriguing
triangle’s story.

___________________________________________________

*Untold Pinoy Story No.2*

It Could Happen Only in the Movies

These two women move in different circles but they seem to lead
parallel lives.

Barbara C. Gonzales is the great-granddaughter of national hero, Dr. Jose
Rizal. Her great-grandmother is Dr. Jose Rizal’s elder sister, Maria, a
liberated woman who was separated from her husband Daniel. Barbara is more
popularly known by her nickname, Tweetums. She once appeared in a Del Monte
tomato sauce TV commercial featuring three generations of women in the
kitchen. Yes, that was Tweetums with her daughter, Panjee, and Tweetum’s
mother whom they fondly called Mamu. Tweetums
was married to Ramon Tapales, a successful businessman.
Their daughter, Panjee Tapales ( a.k.a. singer Panjee Gonzales), was
co-host of ABS-CBN’s daily morning show, Alas Singko Y Media (now Magandang
Umaga Pilipinas) and its defunct Sunday morning game show with Roderick
Paulate and Eric Quizon. Panjee soon became the second wife of ABS-CBN
chairman, Gabby Lopez. (But that’s another story.) Tweetums writes about
art and culture in her column for the Philippine Star.

She has published a couple of books consisting of collections of her essays
from her newspaper column. She remains a highly-respected media
personality, being the president of a major advertising company.

Socorro Alicia R. Quirino is the granddaughter of former president
Elpidio Quirino. More popularly known by her nickname, Cory, she
hosts a lifestyle show on TV. Her kidnapping ordeal a few years ago was
made into a movie entitled, The Cory Quirino Kidnap, which was directed by
massacre king Carlo J. Caparas. Cory was married to Roman Cruz, Jr. who was
the president of Philippine Airlines and head of Government Service
Insurance System (GSIS). Cory writes a regular column on fitness and health
for the Philippine Daily Inquirer. She also published a series of health,
beauty and inspirational books. She remains a highly visible media
personality with her radio and TV programs.

While Tweetums and Cory were both successful in their respective careers,
their personal lives were not as rosy. Tweetums Gonzales and her husband,
Ramon Tapales, eventually decided to lead separate lives. Likewise, Cory
Quirino and her husband, Roman Cruz, Jr., soon parted ways.

Indeed, Tweetums and Cory seem to lead parallel lives.

Then, in a strange twist of fate, the unthinkable happened. . While
geometry teaches us that parallel lines can never intersect, the parallel
lives of Tweetums and Cory did intersect.

Tweetums Gonzales got married to Cory’s former husband, Roman Cruz, Jr.
Meanwhile, Cory Quirino got married to Tweetum’s former husband, Ramon
Tapales.

Just like in the movies.

And you know the rest of their story.

__________________________________________________

*Untold Pinoy Story No. 3*

Her Mother’s Joy

Her mother has always been proud of her. Mighty proud. And rightly so.

In the spring of 1991, Julia Roberts graced the cover of People
Magazine’s special issue featuring its annual list of The 50 Most
Beautiful People in the World. Together with Julia Roberts in this
ultimate list of the most beautiful people were Brad Pitt, Tom
Cruise, Madonna, Mel Gibson, Whitney Houston, Michelle Pfeiffer,
Isabella Rossellini, supermodels Claudia Schiffer & Naomi Campbell
and oops, a Filipina?

Yes, People Magazine’s 1991 list of The 50 Most Beautiful People in the
World included a true-blooded Filipina who was born, raised and educated in
the Philippines.

Unlike most beautiful Filipinas who were the products of mixed
marriages and who have therefore acquired foreign physical features, this
Filipina was born to a Filipina mother and a Filipino father. It is no
wonder that she does not typify a beautiful woman by any standard: She is
short, standing only 5’2″. She has a huge and deep acne scar on her
forehead. She has that distinct Asian nose (read: flat). She uses only Avon
cosmetics (gasp!) and applies makeup by herself. During her pre-Inno Sotto
days, her clothes were not made by known couturiers: They were lovingly
sewn at home by her mother who is a dressmaker. She does not even have the
right genes to inherit beauty from: Her mother was plain, even
stern-looking. Her father was a dark-skinned guy with the tough facial
features of a hardened military man.

Although both the first names of her mother and father means happy in two
different languages, their union was not as joyous. Her mother and father
were never married, making her and her only brother illegitimate children.

In the mistress hierarchy, her mother was not even her father’s
second woman. Her father had a first mistress who ranked above her mother.

She and her brother only belong to their father’s third family. And yes,
the gay club performer who once appeared on national television was indeed
her half-brother. She couldn’t therefore be faulted for not talking about
her father. In contrast, too much has been known about her mother. Her
mother was always visible, too visible for comfort.

Her mother gave her the name Carmen and raised her in a province north of
Manila. However, when it was time for her to go to school, her
overprotective mother brought her and her brother to Manila to give them
the best education. Carmen studied in Preciosa Soliven’s Operation
Brotherhood Montessori in Greenhills where she emerged as the school’s
valedictorian. However, Carmen’s academic rival protested the school’s
decision to award Carmen the school’s highest honors, claiming that she had
better grades than Carmen. Carmen’s rival even revealed that the school’s
owner, Mrs. Soliven, was only fond of Carmen because she always performed
in school programs which gave Carmen an edge in extra-curricular
activities. But academically, Carmen reportedly did not really rise above
her rival.

Lured into show business, Carmen became part of German Moreno’s inane daily
afternoon TV show, That’s Entertainment, where she got paired with comedian
and now Quezon City Vice Mayor Herbert “Bistek” Bautista. (Some say that
Vice Mayor Bautista was so enamored with Carmen that he later refused to
marry his partner despite their having a child.) As one of the countless
stars of Kuya Germ’s That’s Entertainment, Carmen’s talent was overshadowed
by the ridiculous mass appeal of the triumvirate of Sheryl Cruz, Manilyn
Reynes and Tina Paner.

Later, Carmen made a couple of forgettable films which were big flops.
Unsuccessful in local show business, Carmen enrolled as a BS Biology
student in Ateneo de Manila, hoping to become a doctor. However, the lure
of fame and fortune shattered her medical ambition. She followed her other
dream and landed in a |Dreamland! Yes, instead of comforting innocent and
fresh-smelling babies in a hospital, she ended up entertaining horny,
sweaty and foul-smelling drunken men in seedy bars.

When Carmen was a little girl, a local manghuhula predicted that she would
be crowned Miss Universe. Her mother, legally known as Miss Imutan, was
ecstatic upon hearing this. Sadly, the prophecy did not come true.

However, when Carmen was 18 years old, she bagged a beauty title. But it
was farfetched from a Miss Universe crown. Carmen became Miss Saigon.

Yes, the only true-blooded Filipina who was included in People
Magazine’s The 50 Most Beautiful People in the World in 1991 is
Feliciano Salonga and Ligaya “Joy” Imutan’s only daughter: Carmen Lea
Imutan Salonga.

Most of us know her simply as Lea Salonga.

Untold Story No. 4

At a tender age of 17, Marcial was a war correspondent for The Manila
Times. Marcial’s war experience provided him with a treasure chest of
stories which inspired him to write a movie screenplay. His screenplay was
made into a movie, starring Jaime de la Rosa and a 16- year old actress
named Dorothy. Helmed by renowned director Lamberto Avellana, the movie was
a huge success. During the first FAMAS award ceremony in 1952, Dorothy
received the first FAMAS trophy for best supporting actress for her role in
the movie.

The only child of a US soldier and a Filipina, Dorothy was also a
semi-finalist in the 1952 Miss Philippines beauty contest. It was
therefore not surprising that Marcial got so enamored with Dorothy that he
did everything to court her. Marcial even carried Dorothy’s make-up kit
during movie shootings. Marcial became Dorothy’s dakilang alalay.

Dorothy studied pre-Law at the University of Santo Tomas but her booming
movie career made it impossible for her to continue.

Likewise, Marcial took up Law at the University of the Philippines
but the lure of journalism ended his dream of becoming a lawyer.

Marcial became known for his gift of gab and political skill. This
led to his victory as a town mayor at a young age of 22. Meanwhile, Dorothy
became popular for her acting prowess and dancing skill. This led to her
victory in several acting derbies. Marcial’s younger sister was the
director of the movie which won for Dorothy her last FAMAS best supporting
actress award.

But while Philippine politics and show business naturally intertwine,
political kingpin Marcial and movie queen Dorothy were not destined to be
together.

Dorothy married a man named Victorino who fathered her only daughter.

But their union did not last. After a series of unsuccessful
relationships, Dorothy finally tied the knot again with an American B-movie
actor-singer. In contrast, Marcial remained faithfully married all his life
to an American-educated woman who bore his only son and four daughters.

But while Marcial survived the Korean War which he covered, he did not
survive the war on the home front. Likewise, Dorothy did not survive her
own war at home.

Both Marcial and Dorothy suffered violent deaths. Marcial was shot.

Dorothy was stabbed several times.

Committed 18 years apart, the separate murders of Marcial and Dorothy made
headlines several years ago. However, both murders remained unsolved to
this day. Some say that identifying their killers is not the issue because
everyone, except the authorities, seems to know the identity of their
respective killers. Rumors even abound that the masterminds in the murders
of Marcial and Dorothy were related to them by affinity. But the real
mystery lies in the fact that the perpetrators of these high-profile crimes
remain scot-free to this day, despite the enormous clout which the victims’
respective family wields.

Some say that Marcial’s death was a result of his being branded a communist
by the government. This is ironic because the screenplay which Marcial
wrote and which won for Dorothy her first FAMAS trophy was the second in a
trilogy of anti-communist movies which were produced by LVN Pictures in
support of the government’s efforts to fight communism.

Dorothy’s shocking death led to embarrassing revelations about her painful
personal battle. Marcial’s equally shocking death led to well-deserved
recognition of his heroic political battle.

Dorothy was killed amid rows of cars in the covered and dark parking lot of
the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board(MTRCB) building.
Despite his escorts, Marcial was killed amid rows of airplanes in a wide
open space in broad daylight while descending down the tarmac of what was
then known as the Manila International Airport (MIA).

Of course, we all know Dorothy as Dolphy’s TV wife, Marsha.

And we all know Marcial as Cory’s real-life husband, Ninoy.

Yes, Dorothy Jones was the real name of Nida Blanca.

And yes, Marcial Bonifacio was the fictitious name on the passport of
Benigno Aquino, Jr. on the day that he was murdered.

And you know the rest of their stories.

Untold Pinoy Story No. 5

She was born on the day of hearts, February 14. But her parents did not
name her Valentina. Not even Venus or Aphrodite. They opted for the
holy-sounding Kristina Bernadette. But she did not turn out to be a saint.

Being the youngest, Kristina Bernadette captured the heart of her father.
Father and daughter were inseparable. Until tragedy struck.

Kristina Bernadette’s father was sent to prison. His heart ailment
grew worse there.

On February 14, 1974, Valentine’s Day, Kristina Bernadette celebrated her
third birthday with her father in prison. On the same day, a man was
exchanging hearts with a southern belle in nearby San Juan church.

Nine years later, on August 21, the man who got married in San Juan church
was celebrating his birthday with his basketball buddies. On the same day,
Kristina Bernadette’s father was killed.

Kristina Bernadette and the married man never knew each other. They lived
very different lives. But in 1994, Kristina Bernadette and the married man
met at work. Their first meeting blossomed into deep friendship. Some said
that she longed for a father figure. But the friendship blossomed into
romance which went beyond control. Kristina Bernadette used her heart, not
her head. She decided to live with the married man.

Kristina Bernadette’s mother was furious at the relationship. How
could Kristina Bernadette’s mother like a man who celebrates his
birthday every year on the death anniversary of her murdered husband? But
more than this was the fact that the man’s heart already belonged to
someone else. In fact, he has a grown-up daughter in New York who was
nearly Kristina Bernadette’s age. Despite her religious mother’s efforts to
put an end to Kristina Bernadette’s adulterous affair with the man,
Kristina Bernadette had her way. It didn’t matter to Kristina Bernadette
that her decision prevented her from receiving church communion because she
was openly living in sin.

It did not take long before Kristina Bernadette gave birth to her
love child who was the spitting image of her live-in partner. But
Kristina Bernadette’s son was born with Attention Deficit Hyper-
Activity Disorder. Her son’s birth softened the heart of Kristina
Bernadette’s mother who announced that Kristina Bernadette’s son was her
favorite grandson. When Kristina Bernadette first planned to have a
liposuction, her mother tried to stop her, warning Kristina Bernadette that
she (the mother) was too old to take care of Kristina Bernadette’s son if
something happened to her during her surgery. But as in the past, Kristina
Bernadette had her way. She went on with her liposuction.

But Kristina Bernadette’s relationship with her live-in partner was
not meant to last. In her Ateneo accent, Kristina Bernadette would always
correct her live-in partner’s grammatical lapses. Her live-in partner also
got annoyed whenever Kristina Bernadette would hand him a stick of
Milagrosa candle every time he used the bathroom.

According to Kristina Bernadette, the candle helped drive away the stinking
smell of her live-in partner’s crap. Kristina Bernadette
confessed that she learned this trick from her mother. And when
Kristina Bernadette’s live-in partner stopped pursuing his petition
for the annulment of his first marriage in San Juan church, Kristina
Bernadette began to express doubt about her live-in partner’s
sincerity in marrying her. Kristina Bernadette’s heart was hurt.

Their relationship turned for the worse.

Kristina Bernadette finally realized that her live-in partner could
never be her savior. She decided to leave the father of her son and her
live-in partner for many years: Philip Salvador.

Yes, Kristina Bernadette is the youngest daughter of President
Corazon (means heart in Spanish) Aquino and the late Senator Benigno
Aquino, Jr.

And yes, Kristina Bernadette Cojuangco Aquino is the full name of
Kris Aquino.

And everyone knows the heart of her story.

Untold Pinoy Story No. 6

East and West

The Story of the Muslim Princess

Suppose that there was a Muslim princess from the flood capital of the
Philippines, Malabon, who has just finished her degree in Mass
Communications from the University of the Philippines with Latin honors
(cum laude). Suppose that she decided to work for Discorama.

Remember the Saturday afternoon show on GMA Channel 7 with former Senator
Tito Sotto, his brother Vic Sotto and comedian Joey de Leon as hosts? The
Muslim princess was assigned to host the Tough Hits segment of the show. As
Tough Hits girl, she did the weekly countdown of popular songs with
bastardized lyrics to elicit cheap laughs. Her mother, who was an executive
at the Philippine National Bank in Escolta, just shrugged her shoulders
whenever her colleagues would ask about her favorite daughter’s TV show.

Soon, a female newscaster of a major TV network introduced the Muslim
princess to her brother, a flight steward. After a whirlwind
courtship, the Muslim princess married the flight steward who used to be a
child actor whose only claim to fame was playing the role of a toddler
Bongbong Marcos in a Marcos bio-flick. After a couple of months, the Muslim
princess and the flight steward quietly separated.

But career-wise, lady luck smiled at the Muslim princess when she was given
a big break by the major TV network. She bagged the plum assignment of
delivering the evening news while at the same time hosting a successful TV
magazine program which was pitted against a similar program in a rival TV
network hosted by her former UP professor. However, the Muslim princess was
such a perfectionist that it was reportedly not uncommon to see objects
flying whenever she was unsatisfied with her TV staff’s work.

Later, the Muslim princess got married again, this time to a well-
known local politician from a province south of Manila. The namesake of her
father, her politician husband had grown-up children close to the Muslim
princess’ age and it was being talked about that his first wife lived in
the same condominium building where the Muslim princess and her new husband
occupied the penthouse. The Muslim princess’ husband also reportedly
decided to become a Muslim so that he could have more than one wife. They
were blessed with two sons.

The Muslim princess’ husband soon retired from politics and became
contented with being a magician and a human toothpaste applier for his
Muslim princess’ toothbrush. (Incidentally, the Muslim princess once
appeared in a Close-Up Toothpaste TV commercial.) Now, the Muslim princess
and her magician husband (He could make a big Coke bottle disappear before
your eyes.) are happily separated. Later, the Muslim princess’ husband was
accused of being responsible for the disappearance of his close friend.

The Story of the Black Nazarene Devotee Suppose that there was a Black
Nazarene devotee from the tamaraw capital of the Philippines who claimed to
have graduated with a business degree from the University of the East
despite his critics’ contention that he just bought his college diploma
from the sidewalk of C. M. Recto Avenue. He worked as a radio reporter for
a major
radio and TV network. With perseverance, he was given a Sunday morning
radio show. Later, he would occasionally pinch-hit for
announcers whenever they would not show up for their radio program. He also
hosted a daily radio serialization of movies for a program dubbed as
Sineradyo.

His biggest TV break came when a TV network hired him for a top- rated
showbiz-oriented TV show called See-Tru. The show was hosted by gossip
queen, Lourdes Jimenez-Carvajal who was more popularly known as Inday
Badiday or Ate Luds to her legions of fans. The Black Nazarene devotee’s
appearance was only through voice-over (and he was never really seen by the
TV audience) and it was always preceded by his usual line: “Ate Luds, may
phone-in question po tayo rito galing kay…”. Yes, his job involved
reading TV audience’s phone-in questions to Inday Badiday’s movie star
guests. However, despite the TV show’s enormous popularity, it was
immediately cancelled after one
of the show’s female guests hurled an ashtray at another female guest.

Later, the Black Nazarene devotee married a lady executive of the radio and
TV network where he had moved up to become the host of its early morning
radio show. They adopted a girl and had a younger son later.

Never The Twain Shall Meet

Suppose that the Muslim princess and the Black Nazarene devotee met in the
same office where they both work. Suppose also that the Black Nazarene
devotee personally chose the Muslim princess as one of the principal
sponsors for his adopted daughter’s wedding to one of the members of the
staff of his widely popular TV program.

Suppose further that both the Muslim princess and the Black Nazarene
devotee became elected government officials and they both decided to run
for the same government office on the same year. They both run for say, the
presidency of the Philippines. No, that’s being too ambitious. Okay,
suppose that they both run for the position of Vice President under
opposing political parties. Who would you vote for?

The Muslim princess or the Black Nazarene devotee?

If you would vote for the Muslim princess, you just wasted your vote.

If you would vote for the Black Nazarene devotee, you are good at spotting
a winner (but it does not mean that you did not also waste your vote).

Because the honorary Muslim princess is former Senator Loren Legarda who
lost her bid for the Vice Presidency of the Philippines in the2002 national
elections.

And yes, the Black Nazarene devotee who helps carry the replica of the
Black Nazarene image barefoot and wearing only a white undershirt (sans
bullet-proof vest) during the annual Quiapo procession as part of his
religious devotion (yes, he still does it up to this day) is Noli de
Castro, current Vice President of the Philippines.

Untold Pinoy Story No. 7

Pure Innuendoes

They were the best of friends. They were always seen together around the
University of the Philippines (UP) campus in Diliman: one was undoubtedly a
very good-looking guy and the other was unquestionably a plain-looking guy.
Opposites really attract. Hey, but they’re both brilliant students. Well,
birds of the same feather also flock together. Indeed, they were very close
to each other. Unusually close.

They were the perfect tandem. Like suman and ripe mango. Or nuts and bolts.
Peg and a hole.

They were both prot g es of then UP Student Council chairman Chito Gascon.
Soon, the good-looking guy took the helm as UP Student Council chairman.
But the best friends seem to follow each other’s path. The plain-looking
guy also ran for the same position with the all-out support of his
good-looking friend. He won, of course.

The good-looking guy was the crush ng bayan of the iskolars ng bayan.

During lunchtime, students of all persuasions flocked to the College of
Arts and Sciences (CAS) cafeteria to catch a glimpse of the good- looking
guy. Even singer-actress Regine Velasquez later admitted on national
television that she had a big crush on the good-looking guy.

But loveless Regine’s daring admission did not earn her even just a movie
date invitation from the good-looking guy; instead, the good- looking guy
merely flashed a demure smile in response to desperate Regine’s
thinly-veiled date invitation.

But after finishing college, the best friends went their separate
ways. (Or so it seemed). The plain-looking guy pursued his law
studies and later taught law courses. The good-looking guy delivered the
evening news on TV, hosted a TV quiz show and wrote analytical articles on
pop culture. His good looks, intelligence and impeccable manner endeared
him to televiewers.

Despite their divergent career choices, the good-looking guy and the
plain-looking guy really seemed to follow each other’s path. But this time,
their path led to a nice little apartment near the Ateneo de Manila campus.
And they shared that nice little apartment. Just the two of them.

Yes, the plain-looking guy and the good-looking guy lived together.

Those gifted with wild imagination got titillated at the mere thought of
these two young men sharing a lovely apartment. The moralists out there
shook their heads at the mere thought of the goings-on beyond that
innocent-looking apartment door amid rows of middle-class houses in Loyola
Heights in Quezon City.

But the pair would not budge from their nest. Nor would they yield to any
pressure. Not even from the plain-looking guy’s bible-reading siblings who
berated him for living with another guy. The plain- looking guy’s own
family started to cast doubt about his masculinity.

All telltale signs which have accumulated all those years could no
longer be ignored. People started talking openly about the two guys.

Speculations about the true nature of the pair’s friendship became a daily
fodder for gossip mongers. The academic freedom which alma mater UP’s
oblation symbolizes seemed to have gone beyond the duo’s lust for
knowledge.

In order to prove to his family that he was not what they thought he was,
the plain-looking guy suddenly announced that he was getting married. His
family jumped with joy.

But the plain-looking guy’s marriage did not dispel wild speculations about
his sexuality; instead, it only succeeded in erasing any remaining doubt
about his alleged agenda of using his wife to finally succeed in his failed
initial crack at pursuing his lifelong dream.

And it was well worth his efforts. Because this former loser’s
desperate act finally triumphed. Thanks to his wife.

However, the plain-looking guy’s deep friendship with his good-
looking friend took a backseat as a result of the former’s new civil
status. The plain-looking guy did not want to hurt his new wife’s
flourishing career nor spoil his newfound success. That’s why he
played his role as a good family man to the hilt. However, he had not
forgotten his good-looking best friend at all. As a token of their undying
friendship, the good-looking guy stood as one of the godfathers of the
plain-looking guy’s first baby, together with Edu Manzano, Cesar Montano,
Cherie Gil, Ciara Sotto, Angeli Valenciano, Fanny Serrano and a host of
other household names. Of course, the plain-looking guy’s wife was clueless
about her husband’s past.

But the plain-looking guy’s wife had her share of dark past. She is a
single mother who parted ways with her good-looking “first husband” after
she discovered that her good-looking “first husband” was already married to
another woman when she hastily married him after she got pregnant at a
young age. This meant that her marriage to her good-looking “first husband”
was not legally binding after all. Now, the plain-looking guy was her
knight-in-shining-armor who rescued her from the stigma of being an
unmarried mother.

Ironically, while her non-binding marriage with her good-
looking “first husband” was solemnized by several high-ranking
priests at the cavernous Manila Cathedral amid countless clicking
cameras and thousands of shrieking admirers several years ago, her
supposedly legitimate marriage with the plain-looking guy was
officiated not by a Catholic priest but by a pastor in a cramped
living room, with only few relatives and friends as witnesses.

Later, the good-looking guy reportedly got married also without
fanfare. They said that his bride was a creative consultant for ABS- CBN
Interactive. However, some women still believe and hope that he is still
unmarried to this day.

The good-looking guy soon rose to become ABS-CBN News Channel’s (ANC)
Director for Current Affairs. He has been circling the globe as host of
ANC’s weekly travel show, Executive Class.

Yes, the good-looking guy is David Celdran.

And the plain-looking guy is megastar Sharon Cuneta’s husband,
Senator Francis “Kiko” Pangilinan.

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